Early Modern Notes

I think I’ve written scathingly before about “blogging commandments”. (But I can’t be arsed to look it up.) It’s as though there are people who feel compelled to try to impose their own petty tight-arsed order on the glorious chaos and anarchy that is commonly known as the blogosphere (and who, moreover, always seem to value quantity of traffic over quality of content) with stuff like:

* You must blog often. (Have they never heard of RSS feeds?)

* You must write short posts. (Have they never heard of Tim Burke?)

* You must stick to a topic. (Have they never… oh, nevermind.)

So these (belatedly-discovered) twenty blogging commandments were refreshing as well as funny. Highlights:

1. Yea as you walk in the Shadow of the Valley of Ideas which come not, post ye not for its own Sake, for it is better to have a Week with no Posts than an array of seven Posts about Naught.

2. Compare ye not with other Bloggers; just as their Truth is not your Truth, their Format is not your Format.

5. Therein will ye uncover this simple Truth should ye search for it: it matters not the Size of thy Flock, nor how often they attend thy Sermons; it is in the Care ye show for them, and they for you, that is foremost.

6. Therefore I verily say unto thee, focus ye not on the Number of those reading your Blog, but on the Content to be written therein.

11. Though ye may be of the Opinion that certain Ideas and Posts of other Bloggers be the product of a deranged Mind, be ye kind: lead yourself not into the Temptation of entering the Realm of flame Warfare, for what is written on their Blog in Rage and Fury can return to bite thee in the nether regions.

15. And though ye may enjoy great Amusement and Merrymaking in crafting your favourite Post, be ye not crestfallen should ye discover it quickly lost in the Mists of Time. Just as the News printed yesterday be used today for lining the Cages of Birds and carrying home from Market the Fishes of the Sea, so too will these Posts dwell in the Realm of the Forgotten Blog Posts forever.

19. These Truths are not set in Stone, but pixelated Dust, and will change as surely as the Tide will ebb and flow and the Multitudes will swoon over another Fit of Hissy by the Paris Hilton of Babylon.

Amen.